#14 Understanding How Responsive Parenting and the Circle of Security Are Applied to Caring for Dogs
Parenting a dog responsively is science, not sentimentality.
Responsive parenting promotes a healthy, secure attachment that enhances the dog's well-being. Sensory stimulation, enriched environment, felt safety, and social connections are among the vital practices of responsive parenting.
Sensory Stimulation.
Sensations are the body's language of safety. From the moment of their birth, physical touch signals to puppies that they're safe and protected. Their mother licks, nuzzles, and gathers puppies to the warmth and nourishment of her body.
Gentle touch from human caregivers builds mutual trust, stimulates the release of oxytocin, activates the vagus nerve, and contributes to the dog's capacity for resilience and self-regulation.
Attunement and Presence:
🌿Undivided attention. Subtle changes in your dog's body language are easy to miss unless you know what to look for. Bring your attention to the small details of what your dog does and how they look when all is well. Changes in baseline will then be easier to recognize and respond to.
🌿Unattached listening. Listen with your eyes, ears, and intuition to what your dog is telling you through their behavior and body language changes. Keep an open mind and avoid attachment to beliefs that could be untrue. Dogs need to be seen and heard, so listen to their truth.
🌿Unconditional acceptance. To lead your dog forward, you must meet and accept them unconditionally where they are. Acceptance builds trust that empowers your dog to move forward bravely beside you.
The Mechanisms of Attunement:
🌿Co-regulation is an inborn biological need that must be met if dogs are to survive as emotionally secure individuals. Healthy relationships with others of the same and different species are necessary for dogs to feel safe, grounded, regulated, and resilient.
🌿Neuroception is the inner mechanism of the autonomic nervous system that processes sensations without involving cognition or thinking. Neuroception gathers and assesses information from the environment using the body's senses and determines whether the event is safe or dangerous. The individual responds by automatically sensing safety or danger. Trauma memories affect a dog's neuroception of safety or danger.
Avoid hasty assumptions.
An open mind is a powerful healing tool that asks questions without needing quick answers. Yet, for some, unanswered questions feel unsafe, so they close the gap with assumptions.
Assumptions come from the imagination, not from real-world evidence. Assumptions become convenient shortcuts to beliefs that match things a person already believes about dogs. The beliefs and assumptions then become the individual's truth, which leads to misunderstanding and further emotional damage.
Challenge assumptions about dogs and popular explanations for their responses to events in the environment with an open mind.
Do One Different Thing
One small shift can change everything.
- What does your dog's body look like when they're relaxed and at rest? Notice the subtle changes that predict a stress response.
- What does your dog do that you don't accept? Try letting go of resistance and meet the dog where they are emotionally.
- What assumptions have you made about your dog's actions? Challenge one of them with an open mind, and question its validity.
Your physical touch, your voice, and your facial expressions carry the energy of your inner emotional state. Whether you're anxious or happy, your dog senses it even before they sense your touch.
Enriched Environment.
Enriching the dog's environment builds on sensory stimulation by including movement and mental challenges. Exploration comes naturally to dogs, and giving them opportunities to freely investigate, problem-solve, and learn builds their confidence and sharpens their focus.
The SEEKING emotional system is self-rewarding. The anticipation of discovery is as motivating as the discovery itself. Using their incredible olfactory system combined with the movement involved in scenting and searching gives dogs an extremely pleasant and enriching experience.
Felt Safety.
Feeling safe and being safe aren't the same. Felt safety is biological; a dog's body deeply experiences the sensation of safety throughout their nervous system.
Although popular opinion claims that "time and care heal all wounds", the psychological truth is that love isn't enough to heal trauma.
Circle of Security International is an attachment-based parenting education program that can be applied to parenting dogs. Parents/caregivers build secure attachments by openly listening, comforting, and communicating.
Caregivers are their dog's safe haven, where dogs know they are protected and trust that their caregiver will always advocate for their well-being.
Compassionate action leads to felt safety.
Social Connections.
Dogs need a sense of belonging. A secure attachment to a caregiver anchors them emotionally so they can cope without feeling overwhelmed. Dogs trust that their caregiver will be their safe haven and reliable protector. This is a universal parenting responsibility across species. Since a dog doesn't grow up and leave the nest, responsive parenting is a lifetime obligation.
A securely attached dog isn't clingy or overly aloof. They have a healthy balance of closeness and self-confidence. Their routine experiences include an enriched environment with sensory stimulation and felt safety. Encounters with new people or circumstances don't cause them to panic if they have developed the capacity for exploring novelty with curiosity instead of fear.
Responsive Parenting for Caregivers of Sensitive Dogs.
The quality of the relationship between caregiver and dog directly impacts behavioral outcomes.
"Children and dogs learn a great deal without obvious parental intervention or formal teaching or training. They soak up a constant stream of life lessons based on natural, daily interactions. They learn about their world, how to influence outcomes, and how to get their needs met through experience." Tender Paws: How Science-based Parenting Can Transform Our Relationship with Dogs by Wendy Lyons Sunshine
Responsive parenting balances advocacy with natural learning, and freedom to learn with safe boundaries.
Do One Different Thing
One small shift can change everything.
- Practice nonverbal communication with your dog using facial expression, body language, or touch. Notice your dog's reaction.
- Provide an opportunity for your dog to learn through exploration and discovery instead of instruction.
- Rather than people-pleasing, choose to advocate on your dog's behalf.
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