A Workshop Companion: How You Can Replace a "Quick-Fix" Goal Strategy with a Reliable System of Tiny Daily Milestones

Goals set you up to fail! Here's why...

Let's say, for example, your goal is to finish a marathon within a certain time. Would you show up at the start line on the day of the race and just start running? Of course not! There'd be a plan, with the marathon as its completion. 

But what happens next? You finished the race. The result will make you either happy or unhappy.  The goal you set is now in the past, and so is the motivation to prepare. Without the goal, your plan no longer has a purpose.

In his book Atomic Habits, James Clear asks: "If you completely ignored your goals and focused only on your system, would you still succeed? For example, if you were a basketball coach and you ignored your goal to win a championship and focused only on what your team does at practice each day, would you still get results?

I think you would."

A stand-alone goal that's not part of a system is like a houseplant that dies when you forget to water it!  Goals can help you by clarifying the direction and purpose of your daily practices. Your system is the small daily practices that keep you on track.  The accumulated effects of practicing a system of tiny, purposeful actions are like compounding interest in a bank account.

What would happen if you ignored the goal of your dog not barking at strangers and focused instead on a system of tiny daily actions to build emotional resilience?

Improvements might not be noticeable, but they always matter.

The secret of a good system is recognizing that small practices repeated consistently will inevitably lead to huge results.  It's the natural Law of Cause and Effect.  

An Effect always has a Cause.  A Cause always has an Effect.  

The small practices within your system are causes; they always produce an effect.  The smallest interaction with your dog is a cause resulting in an effect on your dog's neuroception of safety.  You are affecting the dog's inner bodily perception of the world as safe or dangerous.

A dog barks at strangers because they trigger a neuroception of danger.  Barking is an Effect of that automatic inner sensation.  To change the effect, first change the cause.

But a lasting change in how the dog's autonomic nervous system responds [barking] to triggers in the environment [strangers] can only be achieved by accumulating tiny results over time.

Tiny daily actions are like tiny deposits in a savings account.  The difference tiny actions make can be barely noticeable...or even invisible in the moment.  But time is on your side.  It's OK if you don't see a visible change in your dog right away.  The Law of Cause and Effect is operating behind the scenes, and the interest on your deposit is compounding! Everything you do with your dog matters...are you making deposits or withdrawals?

In Atomic Habits, James Clear explains the principle of "1% Better Every Day".

"Here's how the math works out: if you can get 1% better each day for one year, you'll end up 37 times better by the time you're done.  Conversely, if you get 1% worse each day for one year, you'll decline nearly down to zero. What starts as a small win or a minor setback accumulates into much more."

A Reliable System makes time your friend; a weak system makes time your enemy

When you operate within a purposeful system, you won't feel time pressure because each day produces small milestones that accumulate.  

You won't judge progress by tangible results because chasing results makes time your enemy.  You could achieve a temporary result, but unless it exists within a framework, it leaves you back where you started when it doesn't hold up.

Daily ups and downs take on new meaning and value as part of a system. One day, your dog is more responsive to your regulation exercises and is less aroused by strangers.   Another day, he has less resilience and barks at a stranger.  It's part of the process, the big picture that is taking shape over time.

When you have a reliable system, time is your friend.

The Rule of Thirty-two Degrees

Many caregivers of sensitive dogs envision their dog's progress as a straight line from where the dog is now to where they want the dog to be.  They ask, "When my dog barks and lunges toward another dog, how do I make her ignore the other dog? What can I do to make her calmly pass by another dog?"

The need for a peaceful remedy is understandable; however, expecting dogs to switch off their hyperarousal at the point of greatest stress is magical thinking.  Yet, if you find yourself in this situation, the problem isn't you, and it's not your dog. The problem is a broken system.

Classes for "reactive" dogs typically ignore biology and neuroscience by exposing dogs to their worst fears and using food or some other persuasion to distract them from their nervous system's urgent warnings of danger.  Caregivers are told to impose their perception of events on their dogs, essentially telling their dogs, "I don't care how you feel. Do as I say anyway."

Real progress isn't what you've been conditioned to believe. In Atomic Habits, James Clear uses the Ice Cube Analogy to explain how progress really happens: 

"Imagine that you have an ice cube sitting on the table in front of you. The room is cold and you can see your breath.  It is currently twenty-five degrees.  Ever so slowly, the room begins to heat up.  

Twenty-six degrees.

Twenty-seven.

Twenty-eight.

The ice cube is still sitting on the table in front of you.

Thirty.

Thirty-one.

Still, nothing has happened.

Then, thirty-two degrees. The ice begins to melt.  A one-degree shift, seemingly no different from the temperature increases before it, has unlocked a huge change."

The analogy explains that progress is gradual, one degree at a time.  These gradual changes can be imperceptible yet true. A trauma-informed system to restore and maintain self-regulation for sensitive and traumatized dogs includes frequently repeated, tiny, one-degree practices that allow dogs to slowly start to feel what calm safety feels like physiologically and emotionally.

Working with sensitive dogs takes patience. The critical one-degree changes reflect the relationship between the dog and her caregiver. Is their relationship securely based on trust and acceptance?

The ice cube starts to melt when the conditions are right for it to express its potential.  An ice cube's critical threshold is thirty-two degrees.  Working with a sensitive dog may seem disappointing if you focus only on breakthrough moments and miss the necessity of all the tiny changes that led to crossing the critical threshold.

Crossing a critical threshold shouldn't be mistaken for reaching a goal.  Each threshold clears the way to the next one.  It's always thirty-two degrees somewhere!

A Reliable System sets you up to recognize everyday successes so you can leverage them.

Humans are wired to pick up danger signals quickly and to pay attention to them, while dismissing positive signs of safety and success. From a survival perspective, that makes sense.  But if you let yourself become hypervigilant for things that go wrong, you risk chronic pessimism!

What you focus your attention on will indeed grow.  Have you been preoccupied with the details of your dog's behavior?  Do you anticipate trouble before it happens? Do you put a lot of effort into changing your dog's hyperarousal during an episode and "lecture" the dog after the fact?  Do you make ordinary decisions based on how the dog will react?  Do you dread walking the dog, having visitors, or getting "friendly" advice from friends and strangers?  If your attention is focused on unpleasant outcomes, you will experience more of them.

The remedy is to leverage the power of your attention.  The key is to learn to recognize micro successes and to nurture each one with attention and gratitude.  Train yourself to spot golden opportunities to increase your dog's confidence and trust.  You will automatically instill kindness and compassion into the relationship with your dog. 

You always have everything you need to nurture micro successes: a loving smile, a gentle touch, a kind word, and heartfelt gratitude. As you bring your awareness to recognizing everyday successes, two important things will happen.

1. You'll feel more joy in your dog's company
2. The micro-successes you focus on will compound like interest in a bank account!