Anxiety is contagious.
You want your anxious dog to relax, but his anxiety is contagious. Sometimes it's hard to tell who's triggering who...
Because it's not possible to control environmental triggers, it's hard to plan for them. And the dog's reactivity happens quickly and unpredictably leaving you feeling helpless, frustrated, and overwhelmed. Relaxing under those circumstances just can't happen, not for you and not for your dog. The other thing you can't control is your inner emotional state affecting your dog.
To help your dog relax, you must first feel relaxation in your own body. Emotions begin in the body with sensory awareness. What you see, hear, smell, etc. elicits emotions and their physical sensations.
Put your own oxygen mask on first.
Practicing brief moments of allowing yourself to relax is the key to unlocking relaxation for your dog.
First, get your body comfortable. Notice your breathing but don't try to force any change. Are your breaths fast or slow, shallow or deep? While you're paying attention to your breathing, do you notice changes?
Be present and grounded, feet flat on the floor. Allow your eyes to wander around the room mentally naming the things around you. Intentionally release muscle tension as you become aware of it.
Practice "putting on your oxygen mask" by developing your ability to relax by choice and soon it will feel natural. Practice relaxing with your dog nearby and observe his response to you. Can you intentionally relax when coping with mild stress triggers? What does it feel like to choose to take a few deep breaths instead of feeling overwhelmed?
The purpose of modeling relaxation skills for your dog is to empower him with choice.
Lead your dog to safety.
Choose a time and a place that have minimal stimulation for the dog. With your dog nearby begin relaxed breathing and be emotionally present with your dog. Notice if your dog mirrors your feelings.
When you experience relaxation from the inside, your dog will be drawn to your energy. Coregulation with others happens naturally. Emotions are contagious. The goal is for your dog to feel relaxation in his body as you do when you practice relaxed breathing.
Your dog's journey to relaxation by choice is going to mirror your own journey. Recall your successes and setbacks as you support your dog during the process. With your oxygen mask in place, you can lead your dog to a felt sense of calm and well-being.
Helpful Tips
- Take your time. No pressure.
- Model the behavior you want your dog to mirror.
- The dog must always have a safe exit.
- Pet or talk to your dog if it helps the dog relax.
- The dog's consent is required.
- Do not give the dog any instruction
- Your energy and emotional state will show the dog what to do.
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